Cheap Therapy

13 May

Wow! I never realized blogging could be a form of therapy until now. A very cheap form of therapy at that. I have been really sick all week and kind of dreading the weekend. I was dreading Mother’s Day so much this year that I typed out my top complaints about the holiday to see if anyone else felt the same way.

As I was typing it out I really was trying to figure out what had brought me to this point because I didn’t recall actually hating this holiday 10 or so years ago. A lot has changed in those ten years so at first I thought maybe I had blocked it out since I try not to hold on to the bad parts of life. But that’s not the case because I had a few instances I could remember like my grandmother not answering her door one Mother’s Day and driving around looking for a Sunday brunch in a new town. They were both disappointing Mother’s Day events but I was obviously still trying to make the best out of a crappy situation.

Finally, it dawned on me! I enjoyed most of my early Mother’s Days as a new mom with my extended family at church. I spent a lot of time at church driving 30 minutes or more to get there often twice a week depending on where I lived at the time. I loved my church and I loved my church family! I was there every Sunday and Wednesday rain or shine. Even when I was driving a clunker and had to fill it up with a bottle of oil to get home after each service. I miss you guys! Much love!!!

Regardless of what anyone says about church and religion it definitely got me through some rough patches in life with poise and grace. We have moved several times and several miles away from the church I was lead to and fell in love with back in college. Unfortunately, like your first love no one else compares. I have tried going to other churches, bonding with new friends, making new extended family but nothing seems to fit. Am I blocking these relationships on purpose because I have no desire to find someone new and close the door on the past or is the missing link just missing and irreplaceable…

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